The Daughters We Want to Be or the Mothers We Want to Have?

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My mom and I in the 80’s

I wonder what kind of relationship you have with your mother? Not the one we see on social media on Mother’s Day, but the real, daily one. Is that a relationship filled with love, admiration, kindness, empathy and respect? Or is it filled with resentment, blame, emotional distance and unresolved anger? Maybe something in between or a little bit of both? Now, let’s go deeper and ask who is responsible for the kind of relationship you have with your mother? You? Her? I personally feel that a loving relationship with my mother is present every time I am the daughter I want to be instead of expecting her to be the perfect mother I want to have. This said, let me share with you that I am a work in progress when it comes to choosing love and taking the full responsibility. Keep on reading

Trying to Get Motherhood “Right”?

Guest-writer: Thelma Ojedis

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Thelma and Noah

My name is Thelma Ojedis and I am the first guest-writer of The Octopus Mama blog. I am a mother just like you except that 16 years ago my right arm became paralyzed after a motorcycle crash. So, when I became pregnant with my amazing little boy Noah, who is now six-years-old, I knew I would need to do everything motherhood requires with just the use of my left arm. Despite the challenging scenario ahead of me (did I mention I was a single mom too?), I was committed to becoming a very prepared mother and to do everything differently from what I had in my childhood. I wanted to rock this “one handed mom thing”!  Keep on reading

The Body I Have This Summer (Part 2)

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Since I first started writing the posts “The Body I Have This Summer (Parts 1 and 2)” I have already lost 2 pounds, bought a new two piece-bikini and retired my pre-pregnancy swimming suits and maternity ones too. Making peace with the body I have now and sharing it out loud that I want to reach my pre-pregnancy weight (155 pounds) has been working as a “miracle” formula for me. This and, most importantly, taking action and going back to exercising 3 times a week, between teaching Zumba, taking Zumba classes and walking/running outdoors. I am also eating more salads and veggies and less meat and bread, which I have done before but haven’t been consistent. This time it will be different because we are all holding each other accountable, right? Operation “Hot Mom’s Body Back” is in full force! Keep on reading

The Body I Have this Summer

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Credit: David Martino and Mary Carpenter

There were only two times in my entire life when I was happy about gaining weight and watching my belly grow – first, when I was pregnant with my daughter and then my son. As soon as my babies were born, I wanted my old weight and flat belly back right away. Let’s say that losing the baby weight takes time, but how long does this process take? My oldest will be 4 in July, and I am still 165 pounds, 10 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. It should be perfectly fine only if I was not pretending all this time that I am happy with the body I have now. In reality, I want to be slimmer and 155 pounds again. I want to go to the beach wearing a two-piece swimming suit and walk with the confidence of a Victoria Secret model!

But how can that happen if for the past fours years I have been making excuses to not be in the best shape of my life? Keep on reading

Grandpa is in Heaven

IMG_0304How do I tell them that grandpa died? How do I tell my children that they will never see him again? That he will no longer visit us every Sunday? How do I explain that he will no longer play with them, hold them in his arms, travel with us, and give them that big beautiful smile? What are the right words to explain death to a 2 and a 3-year-old? How do I explain something that I myself can’t understand and can’t accept? All of these questions kept popping up as I learned last Friday (June 1, 2018) that my father-in-law passed away during his sleep just a couple months after discovering he had stage 4 cancer in different parts of his body. Keep on reading

This Summer

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Summer is around the corner and I wonder how it makes you feel. I wonder which memories you are going to create this year. Not the ones that the pictures will capture but the ones you and your children will keep in your hearts. I invite you to read the scenarios I created for my Summer with my loved ones. Scenario 1 has the “glass half empty” perspective while Scenario 2 focus on having the “glass half full”. Honestly both have gone through my head these past couple weeks as I prepare for Summer. I am happy to share, though, that I am committed to choosing Scenario 2 (glass half full) over, and over, and I suggest that you consider doing the same. But for now, just read them and decide for yourself which Scenario you will be choosing this Summer. Keep on reading